Stop. Pause.
Close your eyes and take it all in.
Breath with your heart.

In many ways I don't remember who I was just three months ago.
Maybe I was different from who I am now, maybe not.
All I know is that this is the best thing I have ever done in my entire
life. Sure there is a sense of accomplishment that despite many warnings
not to travel through India as a solo woman I did and I flourished in it.
But there has been one reminder after the next to remain humble and keenly
aware of everything going on, inside and out. There is no way to describe
the edges that have been pushed other than I would do it all over in a heartbeat.
I left Indian soil only 2 days ago, and putting myself on that plane was just as
painful as wonderful. In all honesty, if I could have stayed longer I would have
gone right back up into the Himalayas and parked myself there for 3 more months.

When a was wee little infant my crazy parents took me to India to live in an ashram.
From now witnessing India first hand as a cognitive adult it is now confirmed that they were absolutely insane. However, thanks to you (my wonderful parents) I have been given the gift of a
gypsy heart and a spirit that thrives with adventure, risk, and magic.
Immense Gratitude is one emotion rolling through me, and overwhelming fulfillment is another. I Love this land, in all of it's absurd chaos, filth, blessings, lack of reason, potency of spirit, and it's many beautiful people.
Thank you all for joining me along this ride, it has been a pleasure to share it with you.
In just a few days some of my last pictures will be up.
Namaste~
Mia

Varanasi till you dropsi

In order to find our way out of nowhere and onto Varanasi, India swept us into her chaotic and bureaucratic reasoning of doing things. I'll cut the story short and just say that it took 3 days when it should have taken 13 hours. Yet it was amazing, fun, and the truest test of patience and a positive attitude. My fellow American traveler and I were some of the few foreigners who have ever passed through these towns. While waiting in a steamy garbage filled bus stop a local government official asked us if we were from Japan. Yeah, Japan.

Now is the low tourist season to be in Varanasi because the heat is so intense that pretty much between 12 and 5pm you become a pancake blob and slowly get cooked until you can peel yourself off the skillet and blob around for the rest of the night. It was about 108 degrees every day, yet we had the place to ourselves, meaning hardly any other foreign tourists.

For a Hindu Indian coming to Varanasi is like a Jewish person's pilgrimage to Jerusalem, it must be done. It is also the hot spot (quite literally) to leave the body behind. Indians come from everywhere to die here, and there are many old Sadhus (holy men) who are just ambling around in constant prayer waiting for that moment. It is thought that if you are cremated in Varanasi at the holy sites situated right on the river than you are guaranteed instant Nirvana and freedom from Samsara, the karmic cycle of suffering. If you ask me it seems like an easy way out, but hey if it gives them peace of heart and mind then I'm all about it.
The Ganga River is the pulse of spirituality here as in so many other places of northern India. It's the life blood, the place where everything happens. Dying, bathing, doing laundry, brushing teeth, fishing, transportation, and praying. One of the countless ironies of India is that this river is more holy than any temple they have built, yet they dump their sewage in it. Hmmmm...
I didn't quite have it in me to even dip my toes in.
While the sights were fascinating the heat was exhausting, and after 4 days I was happy to get on my last overnight train back to New Delhi and feel the night air rushing in through the windows.

12 days, 12 lifetimes

Four wild tigers, 10 Thali's, 32 hours on trains, 13 hours on local government buses, spaces of expansive Indian country side, spaces where space is a foreign reality and there are hundreds of very pushy bodies, 30 hours without seeing another white person, temperatures of 107 degrees, sunrise boat rides on the Ganges, watching a corpse roll by on top of a rickshaw, taking 523 photos, and knowing that it's all just an illusion. Since leaving Agra it's virtually impossible to believe that it's only been 12 days. What has just occurred is one of the many reasons that I have not only come to love India, but have fallen in love with the mystery of travel. I made a wonderful travel friend named Anthony when I was up north in Mcleod Ganj. He is the reason why I have now been only 15 feet from a wild tiger, and have seen more of rural India than I ever imagined I would.
On the train to the tiger reserve which was in the middle of nowhere-land, even our fellow Indian passengers didn't recognize the name of the town we were going to. It was full immersion, and the kind of nowhere that feels like the farthest place I've been from anywhere. We took two safari trips out into the stunning national park, and saw 3 tigers on our first trip out. That was pretty much all there was to do in nowhereland, and yet it was one of the highlights of this trip for me. Despite the horrible reality of tiger poaching that is still present, after seeing the preserved beauty of this park I feel that there is still hope for India to remain wild. To see India's National treasure, the royal tiger, was a sight I will never forget.
I'll upload some really special photos soon!

From living like a Queen to the Taj!

The Taj Mahal is every bit as beautiful as they say it is. Another morning up before the sun to greet it with new light dancing on this 350 year old marble marvel. Seeing this at dawn was not only for the lighting, but to beat the crowds as well. By 8 am Indian Tour buses were pouring in by the droves all wearing matching white baseball hats so they don't lose eachother. One of the seven wonders, and the greatest momument to Love ever to be built. A somewhat crazy Moghul King built it for his beloved wife who died while giving birth to her 14th child. It's another one of these Indian bubbles. To arrive you walk through streets lined with undescribable rotton smells, trash, VERY persistant and annoying rickshaw drivers, begging children putting on the saddest faces despite their nice shoes, and then it is pristine, peaceful, and something so magestic and sublime that you forget all that just happened. Poof.
The city of Agra here is not a place I want to spend more than 24 hours. So onward I go to catch an overnight train to see some wild Tigers! To one of India's most remote Tiger reserves that has the highest chances of Tiger sightings. The next time you hear from me I should be in Varanasi to witness the burning Ghats for my last days before catching the plane back to the States!
Love to everyone.

Delhi is Divine

The only thing I've ever heard about Delhi is that it's hell on earth.
I have so gratefully had a different experience and it's all because a dear friend of mine
made a phone call his friend who is from this "hell hole". This friend has never
even met me, but he welcomed to stay in his family's house fully equipped with
maids who served me chai and delicious meals in my beautiful bedroom, and a private driver who took me all over Delhi for two days to shop for the plethora of Indian goods that I now have.
I don't mean to brag really, but this just goes to show the sense of hospitality that I have experienced again and again throughout this whole country. Spending 4 nights here was a rejuvenation that I really needed to get rested for the last stretch of this adventure. I may be one of the few who can say that I love Delhi!

Moving on...headed south

Leaving the sweetness of Dharamsala was the hardest departure yet. I was incredibly torn about whether or not to stay... forever, or move on and fill my remaining 2 weeks India with other sights, and eventually head back to the reality of the states, and maybe even working, yikes! Where I was living for 2 weeks in Mcleod Gang there are so many opportunities to really get immersed into the culture and have a positive impact with the refugees who really need support.

I went to a few English conversation classes for Tibetan refugees and just hung out and talked for hours. Each one was so open about their deepest feelings and experiences about the Chinese occupation and about their culture and family lifestyle back in Tibet. It's quite common for the rural villagers to have between 9-14 children, and for 3 brothers to share the same wife and to all live together. Busy wife. They do this ultimately as a result of poverty and lack of resources, as having more wives would mean more houses, food, etc. Sonam showed me a picture of him and his family of siblings and his 3 fathers, he doesn't know which one is really his dad or his uncle. Some things just aren't that important I suppose.

Over the last week His Holiness the Dalai Lama was holding the Mind and Life conference at his main temple. The focus was on how modern psychology and science can be supported by Buddhism. The public were not allowed into the conference itself, but I watched a live video feed of H.H. talking with a bunch of western scientists. The coolest thing he said was that even if we are Buddhist we should not be biased from that perspective. The only way to understand someone else is to forget who we are and try to look from their perspective. I just wanted to hug him.

I left this gem in the mountains at dusk in a thick rainstorm. The overnight bus was as uncomfortable as to be expected, and I tried not to notice the driver smoking spliffs all the way to New Delhi. Winding dirt roads, mostly downhill, and then a random 3am stop for chai. Hey, really just another opportunity for chanting. I arrived in one piece, and with the peace of mind that Delhi would be taking good care of me.

After the silence

Re-entering the world felt like what I imagine birth to be like.
It's all a little bit insensitive, and yet I now know that it seems
that way only because I perceive it to be, and only because
of labels that the mind gives EVERYTHING. Okay, enough
philosophy. But really, the second day of being back I stayed
in bed and had not an inkling to go outside to the world of rough stuff. By day 3 I'm back in the groove, and inspired to witness it all through a fresh perspective, slowly slowly, shanti shanti.

This photo of the prayer flags and stupa (temple) is on a mountain slope
where 20-30 monks are in lifetime retreat. They are all Tibetan
refugees who have walked for over 2 months through brutal weather
conditions without any food to cross the border in flight
from China's oppression. Many do not make it either from being shot point
blank by Chinese soldiers, or simply don't survive the treck. These monks
have committed their lives to mastering their own minds for the benefit of
all sentient beings (still trying to wrap my head around that one).
The reality of the situation in Tibet is unavoidable here.
This area is the by far the most ideal place in India for Tibetans to find
refuge and work, but there is still much struggle and hope that one day
they will be able to return. From talking to both Tibetans and foreigners
who are trying to do anything to alleviate the situation in Tibet, the efforts that are
made don't seem to make a dent on the unimaginable torture and murdering
that is occurring every single day just over the border. None the less,
with the help of His Holiness and others, there may be hope.
Please, for Tibet's sake, do not buy crap made in China!

Into the Silence

Hello out there! Can anybody hear me? Because inside I'm screaming loud and clear, and there are a million echoing thoughts mixed with memories, dreams, and fantasies all strung together by the most random and absurd logic. But all of those things are merely clouds passing in the natural clarity of the mind. Throughout my ten days of (semi) silence there were glimpses of clear sky, a few avalanches of Love, several tidal waves of the whole world suffering, and the surest feeling of rightness in my entire being.
Initially I was hesitant to close myself off to the adventures of India to partake in a retreat, but I truly could not have done anything more rewarding with ten days of my life. A group of 30 diverse humans from all over the planet sat together for many hours per day and had no need to say anything. It was so refreshing not to "have" to talk. It was semi silent because we had an hour of group discussion each day to hash out our ideas and reflections on the days lectures. Each day we had about 4 hours of Tibetan Buddhist philosophy lectures intermingled with several hours of meditation time to put it all into practice. The last two days were 5 hours of meditation and no lectures.
I lived in a cave-room that was the sweetest sanctuary to sleep through the almost nightly rain and thunderstorms. With all of potential distraction taken away (no cell phone, ipod, books, cross word puzzles) being left with the wild animal of my own mind became something fascinating and delightfully natural. After we spent one whole day on "the nature of reality" my dreams began to reflect the fact that nothing is as we see it to be. I was using a tea cup as a cell phone, and hearing all sounds as one. Sound and silence are simultaneous.
To put this experience into a few words one gift that I received is that: in pondering what it would feel like if I had only a few weeks to live (some of the meditations were a bit morose) I know with all of my heart that I have been given and have shared so much love in my life, but it became crystal clear that I can love so much more. So you'll hold me to that right guys?
What is it all about in the end after all?

Dharamsala......Shhhhhhhhh

Dharamasala is spectacular. Thy sky is closer than I've ever felt it. The air and the snow capped mountains create a weather system all their own here. In the afternoons, a thunderous show of horizontal lightning and spring hail pushes everyone into the tea houses and bookstores to wait out what the gods have in store. Just around the corner from His Holiness the Dalai Lama's house and temple, these streets are teeming with gentle faced monks in maroon and packed full of any and every Tibetan artifact you can imagine. From Yak butter tea, to wool sweaters, it's all here to keep the travelers and locals warm and comfortable. I can say this is the first place in India that I absolutely LOVE, instantly.
Yesterday I hiked 9 miles to the stunning snow line ridge where the vantage point to the white covered Himalayas was breathtaking. Today, I pretty much spent sleeping the fatigue and altitude out of my muscles. Photos to come shortly.
Tomorrow I will be entering a 10 day silent meditation retreat in an Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism course. The center is surrounded by pine forrest, and sits a top a hill that over-looks the terraced villages that fill this magical land. With as much of an open heart and empty mind as possible I will lend myself to what gifts that silence can bring.
Be back in 10 days!

City of Gold

Another hypnotically rocking 7 hour train took me from Haridwar in the lap of the Himalayas west to the Golden Temple city of Amritsar. Arriving around midnight, I went straight to the Golden Temple to see that yes, in fact this is a place of intense worship around the clock. The Temple is only about 500 years old, but the ancient scripts that are read by Sikh masters inside small rooms within the temple 24/7 are... beyond time. After getting situated in yet one more rather sketchy hotel room (this one had a very mysterious pipe entering the room, from???), I fell asleep to the still rocking of the train and could hear the chanting from the temple in between the ceaseless buzz of rickshaws, horns, and my strange hotel plumbing.
The next day a rickshaw driver found me and before I knew it he and I set off for a city tour of things I must see. Like most rickshaw riders the guy was only wearing slippers and could ride a dilapidated bike like nobodies business. Adding to the now very long list of almost terrifying road experiences, the day was filled with white knuckled, eyes closed moments of knowing that soon this will be over. Many temples, many blessings, and a ton of relief to end the day in one piece.
The Sikh tradition is one of equality and complete welcoming of all faiths, races, and even castes.
Besides chanting around the clock, they are also feeding and housing all visitors around the clock. More curious than hungry I went to explore the communal dining hall. On the way to the dining hall walking through hundreds of Sikhs sitting on the ground (both men and women) chopping vegetables, making chapatti, and washing countless plates. Just walking into the hall my eyes teared up from the thousands on onions being peeled. The food was tasty no doubt, but my digestive system is pretty much on strike from one more plate of masala vegetables and dahl, so I ate up the tasty dessert (mushy rice prasad) and kept passing my chapatti's to the very hungry local next to me.
Before entering the temple there are foot baths that you wade through, and for many you also ingest this water as I saw quite a few peeps swoop down and ceremoniously scoop up a handful of the sacred foot bath water. Mmmm, how refreshing!
Hanging out here at this temple for several hours one night to witness the constant worship, bathing in the waters, kneeling to prayer, I wondered how much we create what is sacred. 500 years ago, this place was absent of such holiness, and then from one rich man's vision, poof, something sacred is built. It was indeed something to behold, and it's fascinating to watch how much sanctity people can immerse themselves in without hesitation. The ritual bathe in the fish tank smelling water is supposed to rid you of Oh so much Karma. I dipped my fingertips in.

It's official

Now that I'm going on my 7th week here in "the Motherland" I've taken a little tally of how it's made an impression on me. There are some key signs that India has officially seeped through my pours and changed a few internal perspectives.

1. I have had my picture taken (mostly with cell phones) with more Indian families than I have fingers and toes.

2. The other day I caught myself being an "Indian line stander", leaving no more than 5 inches between myself and the person in front of me. It's the only way you get anywhere!

3. I don't really feel all that different than everybody else and get surprised when I find people staring at me.

4. I wouldn't dare think of leaving my room/ Ashram without my roll of toilet paper (they don't use any here).

5. I've come to expect that nothing is ever as you expect it to be.

6. I've actually become accustomed to getting a really good night's sleep on extremely hard surfaces that by most standards around here are called beds.

7. I more or less know when to dodge, hold on, plug my ears, assume disinterest, haggle, avoid inhaling (smog), all while keeping a keen eye not to step in that next pile of cow dung.

8. The yoga that happens on my mat is a pure luxury. The real yoga practice is the rest of the experience.

Art day at the Orphange

I spent most of yesterday at a beautiful local orphanage and school house, playing musical bodies with the kids, getting my face painted and hair done like a an Indian dancer by the girls, and eating delicious organic food grown in their garden. This sanctuary was created 15 years ago by an American woman who had no children of her own or any idea of how to raise them. She put it simply when she said that she just leads by example, and allows the rest to happen naturally. There are about 70 children in "the family" who come from all over India and Nepal. They are thriving, giggly, and really really eager to do the best they can. A young fellow took the photo of me sitting in the chair after I got my face painted. Here rather than wanting to take them all home with me, I wanted to move in! There are ample opportunities to live and volunteer here for months at a time.
Hard to beat growing your own organic food and hanging with super precious kids day in and day out. The food in Rishikesh has been sacredly spectacular. Within this whole area both meat and alcohol are prohibited, and their is no shortage of any cuisine you could imagine. One of the most popular menu items is pizza believe it or not. I've been sticking to my south Indian favorite of Masala Dosa, a long delicious crispy rice crepe filled with spicy potatoes served with yummy dipping sauces. I can't deny that I'm dreaming of bowls of kale and quinoa though.
Tomorrow I'm heading even more north to Dharmasala for most of my remaining time here in India. I'll be breaking the journey up by spending a night in Amritsar where I plan to see the Golden Temple at dawn. Catch up soon!

Footsteps to the Ganga

Even though I've been on this journey for 6 weeks now, I still keep pinching myself. Sometimes it really is a bit much to take in. Grace has consistently brought "bodyguards" to take me along this adventure with both safety and great company. As of late this position has fallen to both Cameron from Down Under, and Dave from London. Our other lovely friend Kelly from NYC just left the Quartet, so now myself and the lads have been making the most of our last few days in Rishikesh.
Two days ago Our trio awoke hours before dawn to take a ride up to the tippy top of a dark mountain temple. We arrived in time to watch the sunrise over the vast horizon of jagged Himalayan silhouettes, and witness the morning temple Puja (prayer offering) to Kali, the Goddess of destruction and creation- quite a job. The morning was cold and several rounds of chai was just what we needed to get a jump start on the 8 mile hike down the hill. We a had a guide to lead the way, who spoke a total of 9 words to me, which were all the different names of the Goddess Kali (she's big around here). He made the whole journey without any water, or snacks, despite my attempts to force some down his throat. Gosh, now that I think about it he didn't even stop to pee, but then I guess that evens out with his liquid intake.
The day was amazingly clear, and the sense of the Himayalas was spectacular. It was the most quiet 4 hours spent yet in India. Just the birds, monkeys, and footsteps.

The world is better

In the middle of the Yoga Festival an event called Yoga AID took place. This event is a fundraiser which is sweeping across the globe to get Yogi's (and all those in their lives) more involved in making a real difference. The 400 attendees and all the teachers joined together beside the Ganga to do 108 Sun Salutations. Each salutation being an intentional prayer to all those who are less fortunate than ourselves. With all of your generous donations I raised $500 that is going to provide school supplies and much more to impoverished children in India. From my most humble and grateful heart I thank you all for making this place we call the planet a little bit better. It was an honor and a blast to do Yoga and think of how it actually is making a difference, thanks to you!

My new friends and I have mostly been indulging in the no hurry, shanti, shanti lifestyle of Rishikesh. Dressing in Sari's, dunking in the Ganga, hanging in the abundance of cafe's that sit on the cliffs overlooking the great River, shopping in oodles of trinket shops, and hiking around to waterfalls. Many foreigners live here several months out of the year, and clearly have the local thing down to an art. I'm not sure it's for me but it's a pretty good lifestyle. I must say though that wearing a Sari really did make me think about the contents of closet. I live in northern Cali, I can pull it off wearing it there right?

Yoga Universe

Besides seeing the Himalayas I came to this spectacular northern region for my truest passion,
Yoga! I just finished the International Yoga Festival in an amazing town right on the Ganga River called Lakshman Jhula. The 8 day Ashram marathon didn't afford much time to do anything (like blog updating) except meditate, yoga, eat, sleep, meditate, yoga, chai, you get the point. The Ashrams in this country are all in on it together to rob their visitors of sleep by sticking to the 4am load speaker chanting. I've just succumbed to the reality that all of this noise is really just as essential to the Indian lifestyle as chapati's and dhal. You can't have one without the other.

The Ganga River is an experience unto herself. She is endless, and serves everyone who flock to her banks. She is a source of so much life, both spiritual and physical. She is the divine bath tub, washing machine, highway, living temple, and water source to northern India. I have witnessed now first hand how she takes all unnecessary things away. Each morning has been spent beside her being lead through physical and emotional feats by one the worlds most gifted Kundalini teachers. Whao, I thought that going for a 4o mile bike ride pushed my limits, but this pushed things to the point of needing to access some strength that I had no idea I had.
By the second day my body was so sore I snagged the first Ayurevedic massage I could which litterally wrung out all the tenderness. Not bad for 10 bucks. I'm still vibrating from the morning we literally shook our entire bodies for 30 min.
After a two hour Kundalini class the rest of each day was filled with another 4 Yoga classes! Yes, it was heavenly and so very needed to fill me with inspiration of teaching again. This was another amazing hub for meeting new friends from all over the wide globe. Since the festival ended I've been logging 10 hours of sleep a night, and yes got another decompression massage.

Chai, Ganga, Hooka

So much to say!!!! I flew here to the the north of India two weeks. Experienced just a few not too traumatizing hours in Dehli, hopped on a train and 6 hours later landed in Haridwar. Known as "the lap of the Himalayas" this region is steeped in the age old yogic traditions that I've been looking for. Two days spent in Haridwar watching the locals bathing in the river ghats, eating fantastic meals and spending yet a bit more time in some very funky "hotels". I made a "friend for a day" with Jose from Spain and we explored the sights together. While strolling down a street we were coaxed into this teenee chai hut, which was a 5 by 6ft. shack which was also a tailors shop, and clearly the place where all the local men escape their worries and hang out with the HUGE hooka pipe.
The pipe was abuot the size of the shack. Sipping on the best chai I've had yet, we hung with these fellows, passed the chillum, spoke only with the language of laughter, eyes, and smiles. In this moment I started to feel really Indian. Yesterday my friend actually caught me bobbing my head, it just happened!

The little ones.

Everything that happens is from now on.

This is paradise.

The children are by far the greatest light and experience of absolute magic. After 3 different boys asked me for pens I went and bought a whole bunch and now carry them with me to give them out. These boys in the photo holding their prize pens encirlced me at an Ashram and each one shared their names and shook my hand. They have so much passion to speak their few english words and just, well look at me with the shiniest bright eyes. I wanted to take them all home, and that's the hardest thing about being here, I want to take everyone home! Oh yeah, I guess I really don't have a home right now. Sometimes the only thing to do is share a smile, and that's experience enough for touching each others lives.

Take a walk and lose some Karma!

I've spent six days in the Guru saturated town of Tiruvanamalai. The Gurus, Sages, and their followers have all come here for a good reason. The town lays at the base of the sacred Mt. Arunachala where it is believed that Shiva's most powerful energy dwells. At the base also sits the largest Shiva Temple in all of India. The temple tower entrances have an uncanny resemblance to the pyramid forms in Mexico and Egypt, the largest one looms 13 stories high. At the center of this 2,000 yr old temple are rooms and corridors so quiet and still I could see how Sadhus have been known to meditate in them for years at a time.

I really came to this place to witness the Nation wide all night celebration of Shivaratri. The new moon night is filled with devotional worship to Shiva's whose energy assists in clearing karma. I met up with two South American friends whom I met at Amma's Ashram and we joined the masses on the 8 mile pilgrimage around the mountain. When we weren't all laughing (from exhaustion) and chanting together they were singing me Spanish songs to the puzzlement of the fellow Pilgrims. With a small temple every few hundred feet I can't count how many I saw that night, or how many times I chanted to Shiva to help me make it to the end. It was long and somewhat uncomfortable, but I did cheat a little by wearing shoes, unlike the thousands of Indians who make the journey barefoot. About a million Indians came from near and far to take this pilgrimage, and some had to do it in mid-day heat of 90 degrees, as in the photo with the men wearing limes all over their bodies. The effort was absolutely worth it, I'm exhilarated to have released some unnecessary baggage. Not too bad, take a walk and lose some karma!

Tamil Nadu...timeless

India is a sense unto itself. I call it the sense of overwhelm, when all of the senses are being used to their absolute maximum at the same time. In the simple act of standing on a street corner I can smell the spices on the hot pan next to me, the putrid smell of urine, a garland of jasmine flowers passing by, cow dung, the exguast from hundreds of rickshaws, the sound of thousands of people in a very big hurry, and all their voices, horns, bollywood blasting, and tireless shuffling of essential goods (of the likes I've never seen before) everywhere. Then there is the cuisine, which is a whole other universe of senses all together. This place is stimulating more things than my small mind has ever imagined. The pace of India is kind of a time warp. Despite the insane speed of traffic, sounds, and movement of street throngs, you can count on waiting for a good long while as the street vendor finishes his conversation before taking your rupees for a bottle of water. It's all so very fast, yet so very slow. It's both the beauty and the frustration, the absurd and the divine. It's everything all at once, and it's been going on forever, timelessly.

The Village Wedding

The events that led to arriving at this village wedding are a matter of coincidence, luck, and a kind invitation by a man named Ganesh. I ran into Ganesh twice in one day, and after the second meeting and some time spent in a temple together he asked if I would like to join him to see his cousin be married. Well, ok! "Why not" seems to be my phrase of the season, and so it happened that the following day I found myself being the only white woman in the very center of a throng of sari wrapped wedding goers. I walked in and the heads turned to look, then hands started to reach out and pull me far into the crowd to be smack right in front of the bride and groom. The ceremony was already underway, but that didn't stop the bride's father from excitedly questioning my country of origin, impressions of India, etc. I tried not detracting all of the attention from the ceremony at hand as best I could, but it was rather pointless. I was absolutely famous. What followed was an amazing village gathering where I joined them in eating(with my hands) rice and other unrecognizable things off of banana leaves. In talking with the bride and groom I understood that it was a great honor to have me there, even though I was a complete stranger and it was really an honor for me to be there! It was amazing to say the least, and many uproars of laughter surfaced as my camera and I played with the kids. By the way the red smear that is often on my forhead is a blessing of colored powder given in temples and ceremonies. As the Hindu deities are worshipped their is always a pot of sacred ash or colored powder provided to bless yourself with the deity.

A new life!

That's it, India has my heart in her hands. Even though by the end of some days I want to run back to a much more sanitary and sane place I've decided to stay and live life on the crazy road. I've traded in my clunky Keen shoes for this gem of a Rickshaw, and am really getting the hang of the whole bartering with my customers thing. Of course I always ask 3 times as much as their ride is worth, and then after several head bobs I agree for twice as much. The exhaust is kind of an issue, but when my nose gets clogged I just shoot a snot rocket out the side and try to miss my passengers. There is much to be learned in the art of horn blowing!

जय Ganesh

My first kiss by an elephant on Valentines day!

This lady elephant was hanging out inside the temple. In Shiva temples only female elephants are allowed, and in Krishna temples only male elephants. It only makes sense, right?

As usual my camera was my eye, and I was shooting some pics of a man and his little boy. I've quickly discovered that you get into the right crowd here and you might get stuck being their portrait photographer for the rest of the day, which is always a blast of laughter and a glorious experiement of communicating without words. The happy man ran to gather his whole family who beautifully posed for me. When I interact with the people using my camera each face holds such a humble beauty that I will always remember. Then out into the cacophony of noise and traffic and cows!

Toto, we are not at the Ashram anymore...

After two weeks of being held by the gentle land of Kerala, it's time to set out.
The signs and visuals of India are as confusing as every answer and head bob
that I encounter. Figuring out which train car my seat is in is no exception. As soon as I settle into a seat that I know isn't mine I'm surrounded by families and young eager boys who need to know my name and shake my hand. A skinny aged woman wrapped in a Sari plants herself next to me and asks with unstopable curiosity, "What caste are you from?" Uuuuhhhhh...
Following a round of his own questions and dialogue a kind fellow tells me I'm sitting in the local car, and that he would take me to me to the right place "where this won't happen." The next 10 hours were a hilarious circle of musical sleeping compartments as the seat numbers
would magically and so rationally be changed as new passengers got on.
I arrived in Madurai to greet the sun coming up over the Sri Menakshi temple.
This temple is over 3,000 years old, and you can feel it all pulsating in layers of shakti dust and ancient smells.

Aaaaahhhh, a bit of heaven

Before leaving for my trip almost everyone asked the same question with a sense of concern, "are you traveling alone?" While I set out alone, my time has been mostly spent with fellow travelers, all coming along just at the right time. Having another westerner around to barter for the taxi ride, problem solve through the bureaucratic conundrum of train tickets, and just to sit and watch it all go by has been a delightful blessing. Karen and I arrived at the Ashram on the same day, and bonded like super glue. While getting hugs from Amma and being blasted by her unconditional Love was powerfully shaking things up, after the sixth day we both needed a little R & R. To the beach!

Lesson number one, NEVER miss your stop on an Indian train. Just one stop earlier would have saved us a 2 hour rickshaw ride back to the idyllic beach town of Varkala. Of course we made the most of it and chanted the whole way with our crazy French magician friend as a ladies bodyguard. Swimming in the Arabian Sea was pure medicine for me heart and soul. Warm, life giving, forgiving, cleansing, and absolutely beautiful. We found a hotel for $5 a night equipped with more comforts than our Ashram penthouse could compare with, like a real bed. We lapped it up along with 3 mango lassies a day. Every night the towns electricity shut off until the generators could get started, so dinner was eaten by candle light on the sea cliffs.

Absolute highlights: Going to a Kathakali (traditional south Indian dance) performance, buying Indian Ganesh bling off of local kids, helping an illiterate jeweler from Ladakh write a letter, and being healed by the sea.

You never Know

The Guest House -- RUMI

This being human is a guesthouse
Every morning a new arrival
A joy, a depression, a meanness
Some momentary awareness
Comes as an unexpected visitor
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows
Who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture
Still treat each guest honorably
He may be cleaning you out
For some new delight!
The dark thought, the shame, the malice
Meet them at the door laughing
And invite them in
Be grateful for whoever comes
Because each has been sent
As a guide from the beyond.

By the 6th morning of being woken at 4:30am to chanting over the LOUD speakers, I was all about it! I've hardly gotten much sleep at the Ashram, but there's a buzz inside of me that wouldn't have it any other way. I awake and enter the dark morning from my 15th floor room that my roommate and I call "the penthouse". I don't want to miss out on witnessing this culture's fierce hold on ritual, tradition, and tireless spirituality. It's humbling and fortifying.

This hasn't been easy. In fact it's been pretty difficult. Not because I was greeted by a dead bat in my bathroom bucket upon arriving or that I can't take a shower, or that the Princess and the Pea is sleeping on a floor mat. All of that pales in comparison with what I'm really facing. Before I left for my trip a friend of mine said this grain of absolute truth, "It's not so much where you go in India, because India is an internal experience. It will take you there where ever you are." Right now I don't have a choice, I have to look inside, because this is who I want to be, and this is the way that I've chosen.
As internal as it is, new and beautiful friends are abundant. To be one of the drops moving in this vast sea of seekers; sharing, struggling, questioning, laughing, and crying all together makes it all the more rich.
Photos are coming soon!

Kerala, South India लवविथौत्बौन्द्स

Do you know where the horn is? Do you know how to use it?
Good, now you can drive in India.
I've always been into chanting, but there have only been a few times in my life when I have absolutely NEEDED to chant. The 3 hour taxi ride from the airport to Amma's Ashram
required me to chant, and hold on, and close my eyes. How can I close my eyes, this place is unbelievable and I want to see it all! I'll be a pro chanter by the end of these 2 months as I'll have to get around this insane realm of India somehow. It's uncomfortable here, it's pushing my edges of how dirty I can be, feel, eat, witness, and I love it. I love the needing to let go into such a different place, or else I'll just be stuck in my head and miserable. It doesn't stop, just like the Kaliyuga, this chaos just spins around and around at full speed, all of the time. I know that some where in it all there is a pause, like that drifting state of sleep just before the chanting begins at 5am and I enter the Kali temple hall and sit quietly. Finding friends already to laugh about it all with. This is a good start. Hari Om! हरी ॐ!

Bangkok, Yikes!

3 days here was enough. Unfortunately I have to go back just to pass through.
I found my priorities really fast: don't really breath a lot (not only for the smog, but this place is stinky!). One of the grimiest cities, and yet the general style of these locals is spotless
without a hair out of place. High-lights: seeing the Golden Reclining Buddha, and eating fresh
mangosteen naked.